How Parents Can Help

The following information is taken from the Advice for Parents section of the Department of Education’s iMatter guidance for managing a critical incident in a school.

Our staff used this guidance of Friday and will continue to do so this week and beyond. 

A full version of the document can be found by clicking this link. https://www.education-ni.gov.uk/sites/default/files/publications/de/guide-to-managing-critical-incidents-in-schools.pdf

J Gray 

When a child or young person experiences a traumatic incident it can be very upsetting for them and for you. Even though the event is over your child may still be experiencing reactions to it. It is normal for children and young people to be upset after such a happening. It is unlikely that they have experienced such an event before and so their reaction may be challenging for you.
Their reaction may last a few days, a few weeks or longer. Reassurance, understanding and support from you, along with their teachers and their friends can help them to cope.

Here are some common reactions to a traumatic incident. You might have noticed some of these.

Thinking

• Confused Nightmares/bad dreams
• Poor concentration
• Restless
• Not interested in what is going on
• Spending a lot of time thinking about what happened
• Thinking that they cannot cope

Feelings 

• Worried
• Guilty
• Anxious
• Fearful
• Easily upset
• Cross
• Panicky
• Overwhelmed

Behaviours 

• Loss of appetite
• Being very quiet
• Nervous
• Being quarrelsome/arguing

Physical Complaints 

• Feeling tired all the time
• Unable to rest or settle
• Feeling sick/knot in tummy
• Cold and shivery

Remember 

1. These are normal reactions.
2. The reactions should lessen in time normally over the next few weeks.
3. If you continue to have concerns some more specialist help may be needed. Talk to your doctor about this.

Helping Your Child 

It is important that you are strong enough to bear whatever your child wants to talk about and to answer their questions.

Do 

• Take time to listen and answer questions.
• Be honest in your explanations and in showing your own sadness or grief.
• Let them know their feelings are important.
• Give plenty of reassurance and affection.
• Let them know you love them and will be there for them.
• Keep to routines and patterns as much as possible.
• Be aware that changes such as clinging or aggressive behaviour or physical problems may be an expression of grief.
• Take things one day at a time.

Don’t 

• Try to hide your own sadness or grief but try not to overwhelm them with such.
• Tell your child not to worry or be sad.
• They cannot control their feelings.
• Feel like you have to have all the answers or get it right all the time.
• Be surprised at your child’s ability to
  set grief aside and alternate between sadness and happiness. Time with friends and playmates enables them to release anxiety about incidents over which they have no control.